It is easy to dodge our responsibilities, but we cannot dodge the consequences of dodging our responsibilities.
~ Josiah Stamp
As one might expect with a Gemini energy, there are two layers of meaning to uncover in response to the question for Day 7: “What finally motivates you to accept the quest?”
The Lovers in the Tarot Decoratif shows a man facing a choice of two lovers. Choice is emphasised in Tarot de Marseille style Tarot decks such as this one. Choice is also where my mind first went. When you have been drafted (see Day 3), you have a responsibility and you’re better off choosing to fulfil your obligation than getting yourself court-martialed.
You could say I have been aware of a responsibility to serve the Divine as far back as I can remember. I have also been aware of the burden and karma, and the fact that if I fail in my mission I will have to start over in my next life.
However, this awareness have not always been acute. It became acute only after I managed to free myself from my addiction to love and romance. Something truly horrific had to happen first. A few years ago, I spent months dating a man who (while claiming to be single) was in fact married.
In reality, this incident was only the tip of the iceberg of all the crazy and toxic shit I’d been involved in because of my thirst for ‘love’ and acceptance… but because I am a slow learner it had to culminate with the force of the Universe hitting me over the head with a virtual 2×4.
My saving grace (thinking of future generations here) is that I managed to choose two good fathers for the three children I had.
It is fitting that love and choice feature as themes for the same card because the choices we make about lovers are indeed often the choices that tend to affect us most profoundly.
Fucking up as badly as I did when it came to love made me realise I had to start making better choices in general. I was middle-aged, the clock was ticking and I was beyond fed up of giving my power away to someone less than worthy.
Hence, when I was drafted, I didn’t hesitate long. I had made enough dumbass choices in the past to recognise how paramount it was to make the right choice here, even if it wasn’t really a choice since I had already sign up for it as part of my soul contract before I was born. All I knew is that I really didn’t want to have come back to Earth because I turned down the opportunity to fulfil my obligation.
Don’t get me wrong… Earth is beautiful; It’s just not home. Now that I know better, I make better choices. Since I learned to love myself, I am happily married and (finally!) on my Path of service to the Divine Feminine. Life is good even to us slow learners… 🙂
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